It Doesn't Matter

(Today's Music: My Heartstrings Come Undone by Demon Hunter)

Lesson 2: It Doesn't Matter

Me: "He's bigger than you are!"

Player: "Doesn't matter!"

Me: "Last time you tried that, you screwed up!"

Player: "Doesn't matter!"

Me: "You've been out there all game. You're tired and your mouth is bleeding."

Player: "Doesn't matter!"

Me: "You're slacking! Their team obviously wants it more!"

Players: "No coach. Not today!" (I love it when they figure out my tricks)

So what's this one about? This one is about overcoming adversity. Where "Not Today" is about refusing to fail, "It Doesn't Matter" is about recognizing the inevitability of failure and putting it behind you quickly. It's about not losing confidence in yourself and your teammates when shots aren't falling and the other team is killing you with the press. It's about getting angry instead of getting depressed. Low morale feeds on itself and makes pessimism a reality because that's what they expect to happen.

Thus, you get quitters. Quitters in basketball become quitters everywhere else too.

And so, I take their perceived failures and amplify them. I force them to fail even worse. If they are failing to make the shots, I'll harass them to make them miss even more. If they keep losing the dribble, I'll steal it too. If they fall down, I'll push them down again when they get back up. Again. And again. And they get frustrated. Some start to cry. But those are the ones who will then get mad. Then no matter what I do, they will get back up and get in my face just to defy me.

And then I win.

Because now they know that I can push them down. The other coach can push them down. The other players on their team can push them down. The other team can knock them down and elbow them in the face and punch them in the crotch. But defeat is a decision they, and only they, make. Others can and will knock them down, but only they can keep themselves down. Because the enemy is in their heads, not on the court and not in the classroom and not in the world. Despair is a choice and if they believe that no one can keep them down, then no one can.

Of course, this technique comes with a bunch of caveats. The "push them down" thing is entirely metaphorical. I'd have a mess of lawsuits on my hands if I really went around shoving my players to the floor. And some, many in fact, just don't have the personal courage and character to endure this kind of punishment. The point is to forge them, not to break them. The 13-year-old ego is a fragile, complicated thing. But the leaders, the good ones whose parents and teachers have done their jobs, will grow.

You've never been good in math before. Doesn't matter.
They tell you you're too slow. Doesn't matter.
He said you suck. Doesn't matter.

You got up this morning and lifted your eyes to Heaven and faced the day with the conviction that today you weren't going to let your Savior down. But now you've done it anyway.

You had a chance to defend that younger kid when others were making fun of him and you didn't because you were afraid of what others would think of you. You failed.

You had a chance to turn and walk away when your buddy pulled out Uncle Mike's stock of old Playboys. But you didn't. And you fed your mind with images that turned these women into things instead of people. And now they replay in your mind like a song you can't shake. And you see them over and over. And the guilt wars with desire. And you failed again.

Then your mom came home from work and was clearly anxious. She was frazzled and trying to get dinner ready and still stressing over the things that happened today. And you were so wrapped up in your own self-pity and guilt and anger that you walked away and shut yourself in your room instead of helping her. Now you failed again because you failed earlier.

It doesn't matter. So you failed. Get over it.

Self-pity has no place in this world, or the next. There is no benefit to self-pity. It is evil. It is sin. Always. Every time.

So your failures do not matter. Get on your knees, lift those eyes to Heaven again and tell your Redeemer that you failed and you're sorry. Really sorry. But you know it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter now because you know He has washed it away. Now it doesn't matter to Him either. Because when you've failed in the past, it doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter how badly you've failed because Jesus will never leave you, even if everyone else does.

Because Jesus knew what mattered - and what didn't. Money doesn't matter. Pride doesn't matter. Power doesn't matter. Control doesn't matter. Sex doesn't matter.

Life matters. Salvation matters. Looking to God for the answers matters. The Bible matters.

So why didn't He come down off that cross and smite the Pharisees and fry the unbelievers and put Caiphas up on that cross? Why didn't He save Himself? Because it didn't matter. He loves you. That matters.