(Today's Music: Caroline by Seventh Day Slumber)
I'm sitting here in Chicago at a user study for one of our products. The setup in so conspiratorial that I feel like I'm in some prime time cop show. I'm sitting in a darkened room behind a two-way mirror watching people respond to questions. I can see them. I can hear them. They don't know I'm here. I can sit less than 5 feet from them and look deeply into their eyes and they don't know. They can't see me or feel me.
The repressed pervert in me thrives on this sanctioned voyeurism. This is better than a movie. This is better than spying on my sister's friends through the hole I drilled in her closet wall. I find it exhilarating and very naughty all at the same time.
But it's what I'm supposed to be doing!
My conscience tells me that this can't be right. This can't be moral. I must be offending God somehow. And maybe I am. Not because what I'm doing is morally wrong but because I'm getting such a sexual thrill out of the whole thing. How do I stop feeling like this except to leave? But I'm taking notes on the answers and am expected to use that information to make the product better.
Thank you Lord for not making me work in marketing where I would have to face this conflict 6-10 times per year! For now, I'll look at my legal pad while I write and I'll focus on the engineering issues and I'll try to not look at the people so much.
"Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil..."
